Loving Yourself is the Answer.

Dear Sheryl,
Two months ago I decided to end a relationship with a man who didn’t want to fully commit to our relationship. We dated for over a year and he never introduced me as his girlfriend when I clearly meet all the criteria. How do I stay strong? I know I’m really doing what's best for me but it hurts like hell. What can I do to make him see he's made a terrible mistake? How can I make it through the tough times? I really want him back even though I know I deserve more. I desperately need help making it through the day. Ms. Lonely

Ms. Lonely,
I applaud you for standing up for yourself and doing what’s best for you. You really do deserve more and your decision to leave the relationship was the right thing to do. There are several things you can do to cope during this difficult time.
Take it one moment at a time. Don’t think you have to be strong and get over him in a day or two. Take it one moment or one breath at a time. Focus on inhaling and exhaling. Before you know it your body will be able to breathe all by itself (like it does every other day) and you’ll be one step closer to focusing on lots of other things.
You must to take really good care of yourself. How have you helped others when they grieved the loss of a loved one? Did you cook for them? Were you there for them? I'm sure you did whatever you could to help them through this difficult time. Your job, Ms. Lonely, is to be there for YOU. Playing the blame game - especially when you're the target only makes you feel worse. Your number one priority has to be loving you. Watch your favorite comedies and treat yourself to an incredible spa treatment. It's also imperative that you surround yourself with people and things you love.
Buy a journal and pour your heart out on paper. This helps purge the grief and heartache in a healthy way. It helps if you do this first thing in the morning. It clears the brain of toxic thoughts that may cloud your day. Doing this saved my sanity and makes me grateful for all the happiness I now have in my life. No matter how bad my life gets - I know I have survived worse times. This is one of the best things you can do for you. Also understand there's no way you can make someone be something they're not willing to be. Wanting to change him is impossible. The only person you can change is you and that's just what you're doing by refusing to remain in that relationship.
Seek the services of a good Life Coach, Therapist or Read a few self-help book. Talking to a professional can speed up the healing process. It can also help you figure out why you were attracted to that type of relationship and keep you from repeating this pattern in the future. If you look closely at your relationship history you’ll discover this isn’t the first person you’ve dated someone who wasn’t been willing to be there for you in this type of relationship.
All the Best to you Ms. Lonely. Please know there is someone out there in the world willing and able to love you just the way you want and need to be loved. You have taken a Giant step towards welcoming him into your life even if it doesn’t feel like that now. Best of luck to you in your healing process. Someday you’ll see this was the BEST thing that ever happened to you. Please let me know when this happens. I Love Happy endings.

Recommended Reading:
Loving what is and I need your love is that true by Byron Katie
Calling in the One: 7 weeks to attract the love of your life by Katherine Woodward Thomas
The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson